THE THIRD ANNUAL GENERAL MANAGER
AWARDS
THE "HE
WHO LAUGHS LAST...." AWARD
STEVE
Last year, Steve won Total Points, had the
best regular season record (13 - 1, a record!) and lost in the semi-finals
to a 7 - 7, #6 seed - me!! This year, in the exact same situation,
but in reverse roles,
Steve knocks me out of the playoffs in those same semi-finals......
As they say, he who laughs last, laughs best!!
THE "LITTLE
PEOPLE" AWARD
T / J
T/J's season was going nowehere - except to
the Toilet Bowl - until......they picked up Warrick Dunn at the trade deadline.....from
there on it was - well, better than it had been!!
Ahhh, but how much better off it would have
been had they also kept Mike Anderson!!
THE "HONEST
ABE" AWARD
PATRICK
In the next to last week of the season -
with the Division Title on the line - the Scoreboard showed Patrick topping
Joe B 32 - 29.....however, the Scoreboard was missing an Eric Moulds receiving
TD.....Patrick left a message for me letting me know I missed it.....the
3 points gave Joe a 32-32 tie, and clinched the Division Title for him
- leaving Patrick with a Wildcard spot.
Abe would be proud!!!
THE "HE
AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER" AWARD
CHRIS Q
"Ahhhh- screw that! When we get to the playoffs,
there's no mercy!!! Pete is going Down!!"
Exact quote heard from across the river.....so
much for brotherly love!!
And Chris did crush Pete in the playoffs,
50 - 41!!
(Emotionally crushed at least - Pete got 41 points and still lost!)
THE "AL
GORE" AWARD
JIM
Jim finishes 7 - 7, and doesn't make the playoffs.....Pete,
at 6 - 6 - 2, beats him out on tiebreakers......"But I had more wins!!",
Jim doth protest.....and says he wants a recount....going to take it to
the Supreme Court if he has to!!.....good point, I have to say, but Da
Rules say nothing about more wins,,,,,and the Supreme Court denies Jim's
petition as Un-By-Law-like!
A rule change we should probably adopt though
- next year!
THE "CHRIS
BERMAN" AWARD
C / E / R
Chris Maleski is aiming for Chris Berman's job
at ESPN.....his lineup submissions always contained a nickname.....some
of my favs - "Peerless (Doesn't Score at Any) Price" and "Brad (Here Is
the Starting Job, Mr. George) Johnson" (back in Week 4).....
Hey, I'm easily amused - especially on Sunday mornings!
THE "IF
WE DIDN'T HAVE BAD LUCK, WE'D HAVE NO LUCK AT ALL" AWARD
M / F / D
After trading Edgerrin James
AND Steve Beuerlein for Brian Griese, Tyrone Wheatley, and Joe Horn, Griese
tears his shoulder, Wheatley suffers a high ankle sprain, and Horn's QB
breaks his foot!
Luckily for M/F/D, Ryan Longwell
was the 2nd highest scorer in the league this year........
THE "DOES
IT GET BETTER THAN THIS?!" AWARD
J / R / T
Not only did Randy's
Yankees win - again - this year, but this time is was against a better
team -
the Mets!!! Wait 'til next year, Randy!!!
And to top it off,
unlike last year, J/R/T won some weeklies, too!! Three of them, in fact!
OK, so a Super Bowl appearance, and a Points
Championship would be nice too! But let's not get greedy....
THE "BIGUNS"
AWARD
JOE B
Joe went
against his inner most instincts - no, not those instincts! - and drafted
a QB in the very first round........and then felt discombobulated the rest
of the draft!
Still,
his team did well....he won his first 6 games....and was near the top of
the points leaderboard for a good part of the season....plus, he enriched
all of our lives with that new top-notch fantasy (not football) website
- BIGUNS!
THE "TOO
LITTLE, TOO LATE" AWARD
PETE Q
Lets's
face it....Pete's team stunk most of the year....but then he traded for
Lamar Smith, Mike Anderson, and Randy Moss (Joe B, T/J, and Chris Q - Pete
hopes Santa leaves something really nice in your stockings this year!)....and
turned his team around, and even won three weeklies in the last seven weeks
of the season, and went from last to 4th in total points!
But then
came the playoffs.....and his brother got revenge.....
(This
award is OK only if given in a Fantasy Football League....you'd never want
to hear your wife/girlfriend saying this to her friends!)
THE "VULTURE" AWARD
B / G
Olandis
Gary.....Trent Green.....
Bob and
George went the vulture route in this year's draft, picking the back-ups
(very competent back-ups, I might add - but back-ups nonetheless!) of starting
players on other rosters.....a highly sensitive breach of fantasy football
etiquette....
(Fantasy
Football Etiquette ?? I don't know - I'm making this up as I go!)
By the
way, I have a trade offer for you - Plaxico Burress, Chris Chandler, and
the NY Giants Defense.... for Payton Manning, Jamal Anderson, and Charlie
Garner??? Waddya think??
and last but not least.............................
THE "PREMATURE
(FILL IN THE BLANK)" AWARD
FRANK
Peaked
too early....damn, I hate when that happens!!
Unbeaten
in 9 straight weeks, at or near the tiop of the Points Leaderboard all
season, and then...poof! Before you know it, you're playing Bubby Brister!!!
But that's
why we call it "If Only...."!
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