THE THIRTEENTH ANNUAL GENERAL MANAGER AWARDS
THE "WHO'S ON FIRST" AWARD
Who's on first, What's on second, and Whoever's my quarterback....
That's almost the way Steve's line-up submission came in in Week 14.
"Whoever I got in the Waiver"
Its too bad there actually isn't a Quarterback named "Whoever".
But if there WAS a Quarterback named "Whoever", he'd probably have been on a bye that week.
Just as Neil Rackers was in Week 7, Desean Jackson AND Ray Rice were in Week 8,
and oh, BOTH Tony Romo and Matt Cassel were in Week 4 - the only QB's on Steve's roster at that time!
THE "ITS NOT HOW YOU START, ITS HOW YOU FINISH" AWARD
T / J
Winner of the first two weeklies, and three of the first five.
Winner of their first eight games.
Number one in Total Points as of Week 10.
Didn't make the Super Bowl and finished number 3 in Total Points.
Not that 11-3 or reaching the semi-finals or finishing number 3 in points
anything to sneeze at.
But if the season had ended after 10 weeks. Just sayin'.
THE "CHANGE IS GOOD" AWARD
Bill typically submitted his line-up the middle of each week.
But, I quickly learned not to write it down,
As without fail, almost certainly another line-up would arrive later that week.
John Wooden said, "Although there is no progress without change, not all change is progress."
Given that Bill ended up in last place in points, behind even me,
It certainly proves that John Wooden was a wise man.
THE "JOHNSON AND JOHNSON (AND JOHNSON!)" AWARD
Chris Q loves his Johnson!!
(Well, I guess we all do - our own Johnson at least!)
Let's count Chris's Johnsons........
There were Larry and Calvin, both drafted.....
And then there was Stevie, picked up in a waiver!!
How many Johnson's can one man have?????
(How many Johnson's does one man need?????)
THE "KICK 'EM WHEN THEY'RE UP, KICK 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DOWN" AWARD
Steve "New Guy" Ng
Ended up with 147 kicker points - a very respectable total.
But, potentially could have had 234 points - a staggering total!!!
Had the leading kicker in the league, Sebastion Janikowski, with 167 points.
But only got 132 of those 167 points.
And missed out on several 20+ point weeks from Jason Hanson,
As well as the record setting 34 point week from Jay Feely!!
Mostly kicking 'em when they're down, I think!
And this is not kicking you Steve!
THE "AVIS" AWARD
C / R
We're Avis - We Try Harder!
Avis tries harder because they're number 2 in the car rental business.
This season, C/R was number 2 in the Super Bowl.
And number 2 in Total Points.
Its not number 1, but there are 10 others of us who wouldn't mind being Avis.
THE "IT TAKES TWO" AWARD
M / F
Rashard Mendenhall, 13 TD's, 84 points in 2010.
Number 3 RB in the entire league.
Justin Forsett, Marion Barber, Danny Woodhead, CJ Spiller, and James Starks.
72 points among the five of them.
But only 18 points as starters.
Finishing only 4 points out of 4th place, imagine if M/F had a second running back!
THE "BUT WE HAD THE BETTER RECORD" AWARD
R / J / L
R/J/L finished 8-6 and made the IOFFL playoffs as a wildcard.
In the first round of the playoffs, they lose to Joe B,
who won the Western Division with a record of 7-7.
They tied in that playoff game, 25-25, but Joe B got the win as the higher seed.
So do tiebreakers.
Randy - I debated calling this the Caps Lock award.
Does using Caps Lock on your line-ups make it more likely for your players to score? :-)
THE "PLAY IT FORWARD" AWARD
Joe didn't send in a line-up after Week 11.
That's SIX weeks in a row.
Amazingly, it didn't hurt him at all.
He won the division.
His players scored.
With the exception of Andre Johnson, his players played every one of those weeks.
And he earned the second highest total of points available in the league.
And to think of all the time I wasted scanning the internet looking for what the "experts" were saying.
THE "REAL MEN OF GENIUS" AWARD
Budweiser's Real Men of Genius commercials. Some of my favorites.
Pete saw things in players this year the rest of us missed.
Arian Foster - # 1 running back in the IOFFL (and in the NFL)
135 Receiver points - #1 in the IOFFL. From the likes of Dwayne Bowe, Mike Williams, Mike Wallace.
Winner of the IOFFL Super Bowl.
Number One in Total Points. By almost 60 points.
Obviously a real man of genius.
Or just friggin' lucky.
THE "RUNNING OF THE BULLS" AWARD
Every spring they run the bulls through the streets of Pamplona, Spain.
And inevitably, every year the news brings us stories of people get gored by those bulls.
George didn't have to outrun those bulls.
But he nevertheless was gored - by Frank Gore, his first round pick.
Gore scored only three times this season before going out for the year in Week 12.
and last but not least.............................
THE "PLEASE DON'T DRAFT ME NEXT YEAR" AWARD
DeAngelo Williams, Jonathan Stewart.
Solid fantasy RB's - even studs - in previous years.
Four combined TD's in 2010, and DeAngelo goes to the IR.
Marques Colston, Reggie Wayne.
Both are top scoring receivers in previous years.
Neither even in the top 25 in 2010.
Long time Steeler kicker, misses 5 of 9 FG attempts at Heinz Field. Cut by the Steelers.
Former All-Pro Philadelphia quarterback.
Worst year in his career ever. By any measure.
Reduced to third string QB by Washington. For Rex Grossman.
Rex F'g Grossman.
Thank God for the other Payton.
But then, he was a waiver pick.