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IF ONLY...    F A N T A S Y  F O O T B A L L   L E A G U E

THE NINTH ANNUAL GENERAL MANAGER AWARDS


THE "STEPS IN SHIT" AWARD
STEVE

Sorry, but there's no polite way to say it.......

Everybody knew there were three RB's to go 1-2-3 at the draft.......
Larry Johnson, Shaun Alexander, and LaDanian Tomlinson.
While the order could be debated, there was no debate about the top three.

Steve drafts third and has LT fall to him.......no tough decisions to make......
LT goes on to have a season for the ages!! And leads Steve to the Super Bowl!!

For the FIFTH time in NINE years!!

Although LT let him down in Week 17,
204 points on the season helps make up for that!



THE "WHO NEEDS T.O.!" AWARD
T / J

T/J started off the season on fire, with Donovan McNabb on a tear........
but Donovan's season ended in week 10, and T/J's season went downhill from there.......

When he got hurt, McNabb was running away with the QB scoring title.
As it was, he still ended up as the 4th highest scoring QB of 2006 -

and he did it all without T.O.!!!



THE "HERE'S CARSON!!" AWARD
PATRICK

No, not Johnny........this would be Carson as in Palmer.......

For you guys too young to remember,
Johnny Carson hosted the Tonight Show for about 30 years - prior to Jay Leno......

Through the first nine weeks of the season,
Carson Palmer had 36 points and looked like a first round bust.....

But he stepped it up over the last 8 weeks, scoring 69 of his 105 points for the year,
and helped Patrick go 5-2 in the second half of the season.....
a complete turnaround from the 1-6 first half!



THE "PARKER HOUSE ROLLS" AWARD
CHRIS Q

Parker House makes a pretty good dinner roll (we always get them at Thanksgiving),
and Chris Q rolled this season behind Willie Parker!
Parker scored 93 points to finish fifth among all running backs!

If only Chris's second running back, DeShaun Foster,
would have scored enough to have made this the "Oil Can Award"!

Foster's Oil Can?? Get it?? Hey, sometimes these are tough to come up with!!



THE "NEW YORK, NEW YORK" AWARD
JIM

If you can make it here, you can make it, anywhere!!
If he's a Giant or a Jet, chances are good he's on Jim's roster......

For a team that was considered to be "lower tier" in the many draft analyses,
Jim finished middle of the pack and won THREE weeklies!!

Hey, and both the Giants and the Jets made the playoffs!!



THE "RETURN TO GLORY" AWARD
C / R

C/R - then known as C/E/R - owned the IOFFL in its first two years........
but hasn't seen anywhere near that success since.......

This year, led by the FIFTH RB they selected on draft night - Maurice Jones-Drew,
- picked in the FIFTEENTH round of the draft! -
C/E/R finishes 3rd in points, and wins the Super Bowl!

Talk about the STEAL of the draft!!!

(Kinda like Fred Taylor back in 1998!!!)



THE "BARBERSHOP, PART ONE" AWARD
M / F

M/F gets the coveted second pick in the draft, and ends up with Shaun Alexander.
Season will be a slam dunk, right??

Not so fast.......Alexander breaks a foot and misses half the season.......

But the other Barber - Marion, not Tiki....
- selected in the EIGTH round of the draft! -
goes on a tear,
and reaches the end zone SIXTEEN times!!



THE "BARBERSHOP, PART TWO" AWARD
J / R

While Marion is having a career year, the other Barber in the NFC East, Tiki,
is selected 9th overall and has a less than stellar year - scoring only FIVE touchdowns........

(But to go out on a high note,
THREE of them come in Week 17........
and TWO of those were from over 50 yards!)

To top it off, Tiki announces he's retiring after this season!!

The other RB in this old time village, Chester Taylor - we have a Barber and a Taylor -
reaches the end zone only a little more than Tiki does, scoring 6 times........

J/R's points in 2006 had to come from somewhere other than the RB spot!



THE "COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER" AWARD
ED

In his sophomore year, Ed makes the playoffs as a wildcard, and reaches the semi-finals.......
where he meets the Beast of the East - Steve........

Steve gets zero points from LT, and zero points from Matt Hasselbeck,
but still somehow manages to hold on and win, 26-19........

Where were those Giants - Brandon Jacobs and Jay Feely - when Ed needed them!!



THE "TO THE POWER OF FOUR" AWARD
PETE

Must be something about the number FOUR........

Pete closed the year with a roster containing.......

FOUR Running Backs
FOUR Receivers
and
FOUR KICKERS!

(But only two QB's)

Picking from two kickers is difficult enough.......why would anybody want FOUR????

(But he does close the year as our 2006 Points Champion!)



THE "FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS" AWARD
B / G

No doubt about it.....we know for whom the Bell tolls.......
and unfortunately, the Bells tolled, but hardly scored......

B / G used a second round pick on Mike Bell,
and followed it up with a third round pick on Tatum Bell.

The problem was, in any given week,
it was the Bell on the bench that usually scored!

If Only, If Only........



and last but not least.............................


THE "TRIPLE LUNDY" AWARD
FRANK

Similar to the Triple Lindy performed by Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School,
but not nearly as entertaining!

(Here's a link to the Triple Lindy, in case you want to watch it again)

Having a RB named Wali Lundy who had to start on too many Sundays
says enough about this season!

AND NOW FOR THE SERIOUS PART......

Once again, THANKS to all the players in the IOFFL!!
As always, it has been a lot of fun!

We have a great bunch of guys in this league,
and I'm looking forward to having everybody back
for our TENTH season in 2007!!

TENTH SEASON??? We should do something special,
like hold the draft down in Myrtle Beach!



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