THE FIFTH ANNUAL GENERAL
THE "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!" AWARD
How the $%^& does Steve do it!!!!
Between drafting players on nobody's list and watching them come through,
to seemingly arbitrary line-up changes from week to week, and watching those
pan out too!!!
Steve wins his THIRD points title
in FIVE years in 2002!!
THE "ANTICIPATION" AWARD
T / J
Back who knows when, Heinz Ketchup
used the Carly Simon song, Anticipation, in their advertising....
In 2002, Tim and Jim used the Pittsburgh
Steeler receiver Hines Ward to lead their way to .....wins??? No....a lot
of points, but not enough wins.....the defense let them down time and time
again.....FOUR times their opponent reached their season's high score while
Unlike the ketchup, T/J's defense did
not come through.....or, maybe that would be EXACTLY like the ketchup!!.....The
Heinz kind, anyway.......
THE "VAPO-RUB" AWARD
Anybody ever have a cold when they
were a young-un', and have their mom rub a little Vick's Vaporub on their
chest (now that we're older and more mature, we have wives to do this),
and make it all better??
Well, this wasn't a Vaporub, but
it was a Vick.....Michael Vick, to be exact......and in 2002, he led all
QB's in scoring....and Patrick to the second best record in the IOFFL.....
Unfortunately for Patrick, he happened
to be in the same division as Steve....
(See "Show Me the Money" above)
THE "1-900-PSYCHIC" AWARD
Corey Dillon.....Anthony Thomas....Warrick
Dunn.....Dee Brown.....which to play, which to play???
1-900-PSYCHIC (call now, our operators are standing by!!)
would certainly have had to have done better!!!
(They couldn't have done much worse!)
THE "HOP ON THE BUS, GUS" AWARD
Somewhere back in the early part of
the 2002 fantasy football season, Jim traded Marvin Harrison
for Tony Gonzalez and Jerome Bettis - a.k.a., The Bus.....
Well, Jim hopped on that Bus, and never
looked back!!.....Riding it to the play-offs,
and then to a spot in the Championship Semi-Finals!!!
Hey, The Bus was a better ride than
THE "MARTHA REEVES" AWARD
C / E / R
Back in the 60's, this Motown lady
- along with the Vandellas - had a hit song
titled "Nowhere to Run".....that pretty much describes the 2002 season
for Chris, Eric, and Rich.......finishing
in last place in Total Points....
and setting a new record for futility with only two wins.....
Yep....."Nowhere to Run to, Baby....Nowhere
Oh, and C/E/R still had their QB "mo-jo"
Kurt Warner....fantasy hero to fantasy bust!!!
NFL QB's everywhere are praying that
C/E/R doesn't select them next year!!!
THE "J.R. EWING" AWARD
M / F / D
Flashback to last
year, Week 17......Mark, Frank, and Doug scored 58 points to win a weekly,
Total Points, AND the Super Bowl......a better week may never happen again........but,
was it all a dream????
And who shot M/F/D in 2002?????
2002 and M/F/D.....absolute
proof that you have to be nice to the people you meet on the way up......
THE "HOLINESS" AWARD
J / R / T
RB Priest Holmes found the holes, and led all position players in fantasy
scoring this year, and had he not missed the last two weeks of the season,
probably would have led ALL players in scoring.....
a division title this year with the Priest leading the way!
The BIG Question now is....will he be the first pick in the draft next
THE "DEUCE'S WILD!" AWARD
Deuce" - RB Deuce McAllister of New Orleans - helped lead Joe to three weeklies
a top four finish in Total Points......
But alas, there was no "Life of Brian" here, as QB Brian Griese
failed to pick up his share of the load, and Joe B failed to make the playoffs...........
THE "OLIVER TWIST" AWARD
the little rag-a-muffin, with nothing to call his own, eats at a soup kitchen,
and surprises everybody by asking for more...............
Pete, in the RED on total points, makes it to the playoffs,
knocks out the team with the second best regular season record,
and then knocks out the team with the second best total points.......
and plays in the Super Bowl!!!
Please Sir......I'll Have Some More ?!?!?!?
THE "MONSTER'S, INC" AWARD
Marshall Faulk, Fred Taylor, Tim Brown, AND Brett Favre......Monsters
of Fantasy Football, them all...
B / G
and all on the B/G roster this year.........scary, yes?
But, just like those monsters in the Disney
movie, these guys turned out
to be great big Teddy Bears this year....except, those Disney monsters were
and last but not least.............................
THE "CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT" AWARD
No.....not HIM......and NO, DEFINITELY NOT HER!!!!!!
This would be Clinton, as in Clinton PORTIS........he scored WAY
MORE than that other Clinton.....
and he didn't even have Monica for any "gimme's"!!!!
Oh, and Ricky Williams for Vice President!!!!