THE FOURTH ANNUAL GENERAL
"THE PATRIOT" AWARD
At one point this year, Steve' RB's
were Nick Goings, JR Redmond, Lamont Jordan, Edgerrin James - who was out
for the year - and let's not forget Jamal Anderson, who was out for the season
and dropped in Week 3.....and, oh yeah, there was also Antowain Smith, who
may just be this year's draft pick of the year....Why? Well, this Buffalo
Bills cast-off had 84 points, finishing 3rd in scoring amnong all RB's...
OK, so just who made the better
Patriot - Mel Gibson or Antowain Smith??
Well, we know who scored more touchdowns!!
THE "NO-MATTER-CA" AWARD
T / J
Auto-Matica, Semi-Auto-Matica, and
then, No-Matter-Ca....First, Bill goes down for the season with a knee injury
celebrating a 22 yard field goal.....then brother Martin does the same!!
Its almost a good thing that T/J lost
in the first round of the playoffs......there would
have been no kickers for the rest of the year!
Except losing that top spot in points
THE "GIMME THE DAMN BALL!!" AWARD
Patrick's top receiver - Mister
Keyshawn Johnson - had an awesome year - according to ESPN Sports Center,
John Madden, Chris Collingsworth.....and a couple of hundred catches and
several thousand yards (or something like that) would certainly support that...However,
when your top receiver catches one - count 'em again - ONE - touchdown, well,
we say he had a sucky year!!
Maybe Brad Johnson didn't read Keyshawn's
(Since Patrick finished tied for
a possible playoff spot, but lost out on the tiebreakers, this could also
have been something about Ties and Kissing Your Sister.....but, nahhhh!)
THE "WATTERS UNDER THE BRIDGE" AWARD
Ricky Watters was a great pick -
if only because Chris followed it up
with his backup, Shaun Alexander.....
When Watters got hurt, Alexander
didn't do much - except become
the second leading scoring running back in the IOFFL this season!
Hey, it doesn't getmuch better than
that in Fantasy Football (Note that I limited this
to Fantasy Football....)
THE "MARSHALL PLAN" AWARD
Down by over 100 units by Week 5, Jim
underwent the largest re-construction since Europe back in 1946!!! He ended
the year by virtually breaking even!! (OK, so he was the only team NOT to
win a weekly, but we won't count that)
How did he do this??? Well, just like
Europe did - it was The Marshall Plan!!
No more Jim Watch!
THE "QB CLUB, 2001" AWARD
C / E / R
Imagine this, FIVE Quarterbacks on
your roster, and two of them are - it pains me to say this even - Quincy
Carter and Ryan Leaf!!
QB's only in the eyes of Jerry Jones!!!
Well at least Brian Griese stayed relatively
healthy this year - even if his receivers didn't!!!
THE "I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!" AWARD
M / F / D
7am, Jan 6...Mark,
Frank, and Doug wake up in 7th place in the point standings, 10.65 up, and
looking forward to playing in the IOFFL Super Bowl.....48 hours and 58 points
later, Mark, Frank and Doug wake up and are the IOFFL Super Bowl Winners,
Total Points Winners, their first Weekly of the year winners, and with 58.45
added to their points totals.....
Last I heard, Melissa
Stark was asking them what they were going to do now......
we know what the answer was!!!
THE "PENDULUM ALWAYS SWINGS" AWARD
J / R / T
2000 was a
good year for Randy, Jim, and Todd.....three weeklies, finished ahead on
points - and, a third straight World Series for the Yankees -against the
Mets, no less!
This year, its back to the Toilet Bowl, next to last in points, and maybe
worst of all,
the Yanks lose the World Series in Game 7!
Well, the pendulum can swing back
next year, right????
Both J/R/T - and me too! - hope so!!!
THE "TOUCHY, FEELY" AWARD
so its not the Biguns Award - and there is really no better award for Joe
than the Biguns Award, but.....
After having NO backup to Jason Elam for more than half the season
(at least Joe played the right kicker every week!), he picks up Jay Feely,
has to use him on Elam's bye week, and gets 18 points!!
That's almost a whole season worth of kicker points to some teams!!
(who will remain nameless)
THE "I'LL BE BACK! OR MAYBE NOT!" AWARD
Taylor, 4th player taken in the draft, injures his groin and misses - the
rest of the season?? Will this guy ever play a full season??? Not to worry
- Pete also had his backup, Stacey Mack - who despite his girly name, finished
10th in the RB scoring.....
Now, if Pete could only figure out the weeks he was going to score
so he could play him!!
THE "ON THE RHODES AGAIN!!" AWARD
9,and B/G is in last place in Total Points, holding the first pick of that
week's waiver.....they use it to select Dominc Rhodes, Indy RB......Over the
last 8 weeks of the season, B/G gets 42 points from Rhodes (and left 18 in
the bench!), and ride him all the way to the playoffs, and then to the Super
B / G
and last but not least.............................
THE "KICKING ASS" AWARD
Because there certainly were not many Field Goals being kicked!!!
Kickers!!! I hate the little weinies!!!!