IF ONLY...    F A N T A S Y  F O O T B A L L   L EA G U E

THE THIRD ANNUAL GENERAL MANAGER AWARDS

 

THE "HE WHO LAUGHS LAST...." AWARD 
STEVE

Last year, Steve won Total Points, had the best regular season record (13 - 1, a record!) and lost in the semi-finals to a 7 - 7, #6 seed - me!!  This year, in the exact same situation, but in reverse roles, 
Steve knocks me out of the playoffs in those same semi-finals......

As they say, he who laughs last, laughs best!!

 

THE "LITTLE PEOPLE" AWARD 
T / J

T/J's season was going nowehere - except to the Toilet Bowl - until......they picked up Warrick Dunn at the trade deadline.....from there on it was - well, better than it had been!!

Ahhh, but how much better off it would have been had they also kept Mike Anderson!!

 

THE "HONEST ABE" AWARD 
PATRICK

In the next to last week of the season - with the Division Title on the line - the Scoreboard showed Patrick topping Joe B 32 - 29.....however, the Scoreboard was missing an Eric Moulds receiving TD.....Patrick left a message for me letting me know I missed it.....the 3 points gave Joe a 32-32 tie, and clinched the Division Title for him - leaving Patrick with a Wildcard spot. 

Abe would be proud!!! 

 

THE "HE AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER" AWARD 
CHRIS Q

"Ahhhh- screw that! When we get to the playoffs, there's no mercy!!! Pete is going Down!!"

Exact quote heard from across the river.....so much for brotherly love!!

And Chris did crush Pete in the playoffs, 50 - 41!! 
(Emotionally crushed at least - Pete got 41 points and still lost!)

 

THE "AL GORE" AWARD 
JIM

Jim finishes 7 - 7, and doesn't make the playoffs.....Pete, at 6 - 6 - 2, beats him out on tiebreakers......"But I had more wins!!", Jim doth protest.....and says he wants a recount....going to take it to the Supreme Court if he has to!!.....good point, I have to say, but Da Rules say nothing about more wins,,,,,and the Supreme Court denies Jim's petition as Un-By-Law-like!

A rule change we should probably adopt though - next year!

 

THE "CHRIS BERMAN" AWARD 
C / E / R

Chris Maleski is aiming for Chris Berman's job at ESPN.....his lineup submissions always contained a nickname.....some of my favs - "Peerless (Doesn't Score at Any) Price" and "Brad (Here Is the Starting Job, Mr. George) Johnson" (back in Week 4).....

Hey, I'm easily amused - especially on Sunday mornings!

 

THE "IF WE DIDN'T HAVE BAD LUCK, WE'D HAVE NO LUCK AT ALL" AWARD
M / F / D

After trading Edgerrin James AND Steve Beuerlein for Brian Griese, Tyrone Wheatley, and Joe Horn, Griese tears his shoulder, Wheatley suffers a high ankle sprain, and Horn's QB breaks his foot!

Luckily for M/F/D, Ryan Longwell was the 2nd highest scorer in the league this year........

 

THE "DOES IT GET BETTER THAN THIS?!" AWARD 
J / R / T

Not only did Randy's Yankees win - again - this year, but this time is was against a better team - 
the Mets!!! Wait 'til next year, Randy!!!

And to top it off, unlike last year, J/R/T won some weeklies, too!! Three of them, in fact!

OK, so a Super Bowl appearance, and a Points Championship would be nice too! But let's not get greedy.... 

 

THE "BIGUNS" AWARD 
JOE B

Joe went against his inner most instincts - no, not those instincts! - and drafted a QB in the very first round........and then felt discombobulated the rest of the draft!

Still, his team did well....he won his first 6 games....and was near the top of the points leaderboard for a good part of the season....plus, he enriched all of our lives with that new top-notch fantasy (not football) website - BIGUNS!

 

THE "TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE" AWARD 
PETE Q

Lets's face it....Pete's team stunk most of the year....but then he traded for Lamar Smith, Mike Anderson, and Randy Moss (Joe B, T/J, and Chris Q - Pete hopes Santa leaves something really nice in your stockings this year!)....and turned his team around, and even won three weeklies in the last seven weeks of the season, and went from last to 4th in total points! 

But then came the playoffs.....and his brother got revenge.....

(This award is OK only if given in a Fantasy Football League....you'd never want to hear your wife/girlfriend saying this to her friends!)

 
THE "VULTURE" AWARD 
B / G

Olandis Gary.....Trent Green.....

Bob and George went the vulture route in this year's draft, picking the back-ups (very competent back-ups, I might add - but back-ups nonetheless!) of starting players on other rosters.....a highly sensitive breach of fantasy football etiquette....

(Fantasy Football Etiquette ?? I don't know - I'm making this up as I go!)

By the way, I have a trade offer for you - Plaxico Burress, Chris Chandler, and the NY Giants Defense.... for Payton Manning, Jamal Anderson, and Charlie Garner??? Waddya think??

 

and last but not least.............................

 


THE "PREMATURE (FILL IN THE BLANK)" AWARD 
FRANK

Peaked too early....damn, I hate when that happens!!

Unbeaten in 9 straight weeks, at or near the tiop of the Points Leaderboard all season, and then...poof! Before you know it, you're playing Bubby Brister!!! 

But that's why we call it "If Only...."!

 

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS 
 
Thank you to all the teams in the IOFFL this year....once again it has been a lot of fun! We have a great bunch of guys in this league, and I hope we all return for our fourth season in 2001!!

And if I said anything bad about your team - and I hope I did at least once during the season! - its all in fun!

 
 

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